I am tired. Physically, mentally and emotionally tired. Drained. I am hurt, I am sore, I have aches and pains everywhere.
This last week at work has kicked my butt. Quite literally, actually. I ran into a table today with my hip and I have a bruise there. My shoes suck, so my feet and legs are gigantic masses of pain and popping. I took my shoes off when I got home tonight, and something in the ball of my foot cracked - it hurt! And now my foot feels all funny. I'm sure it will be fine in the morning...I'll just be stiff as an old lady with arthritis.
I don't really want to go into a lot of details, because I don't want to end up crying myself to sleep again, but Craig and I are having problems. At the moment, we aren't talking, because he needs space to think about he and I. Suffice it to say, I am heartbroken. I am devastated. I have been destroyed. I am depressed and I mope, yes mope, around the house until I have to go to work. I don't know what is wrong, I don't know what Craig is thinking or feeling, I don't know what is going on, I don't know how to help Craig and I don't know how to fix it. I'm exhausted from thinking about it all the time and try as I might, I can't stop thinking about it. I'm beginning to obsess over every little thing I ever did to see if it was something I did that made Craig feel whatever he's feeling. All the girls at work think I should dump him, make the preemptive strike - but the thing is, I don't want to. Because, as silly as I think Craig is being, and as painful as it is to not know what is going on, I love Craig. Yes, I said it. L.O.V.E. Love. I love Craig. I love him with everything that I have. And if I dump him, then I will have to tell him I made a mistake by breaking up with him (if he ever talks to me again...) and I would have to beg him to take me back (and at this point, I'm not sure if he would...). So, I'm waiting for Craig to talk to me. I'm waiting for him to dictate what happens next in my life. I'm waiting for him to tell me it's ok (or not) to move on. I'm waiting for him to tell me I don't have to hurt anymore. I'm waiting for him to say it's ok to breathe. I'm waiting for him to realize (I hope...) that he loves me.
I just read an older blog, before I started this one ("Want" is the one I read) and it talked about how I wanted a boyfriend, how I wanted to be in love, how I wanted to be loved....well, I guess I can cross some of those things of my list of wants, but at the same time, I have to keep them on my list. I will want to love/be loved in the future, so I can't cross them off my list, because that would mean that I'd done it once and that was enough. Now that I know what it's like to be in a good relationship, I will always crave it and never settle for less. In many ways, Craig gave me a gift. He gave me the gift, first, of being in a good relationship. He gave me the gift of being cared for. He gave me the gift of being special to someone. He gave me the gift of being thought of as beautiful and gorgeous. He gave me the gift of friendship. He gave me the gift of trust and someone to trust. He gave me the gift of having someone to give my love to. He gave the gift of his heart, whether he knew it or not. He gave me so much, so many precious memories, so many wonderful treasures that I will never forget. And the reason this is tearing me apart so much is because I love him. I truly love him. I never thought I would fall in love as hard or as fast as I fell for Craig. I am panicked, because I don't know how my future will turn out if he's not in it. And it's crazy to think that one boy, one sweet, annoying, wonderful, beautiful, silly boy, could wreck my life and bring it to such a halt like this. It's like my life was a train and it turned a corner and ran straight into a mountain and crashed, completely de-railing and taking out everything in its path, as it tumbled down the hill.
It's not all that bad, really. I'm still going, my heart is still beating. Life goes on. I still have my wonderful and amazing friends who have been there for me through everything. I still have my school plans and I still have work. I still have things to do and places to go...they just seem less inviting than before. The world just seems a little less bright now.
I was so happy - so blissfully happy - with Craig. Even when I had a rotten day, I was still happy. Because I knew, that when I got home from school, Craig would be there. Warm and solid and comforting and caring and consoling and encouraging. And Craig would help me solve any problem that got in my way. He was my protector. He was my ear when I needed to vent. He was my shoulder when I needed to cry. And he was my share-er when I had a great day. He is still all of that, regardless of what is going on. And he will continue to be that until he says he doesn't want it anymore.
The best way to describe my life right now, is in Facebook terms, with "it's complicated." I'm realizing that I'm not Superwoman and I can't fix everyone's problems for them. I can't even fix my own.
I just want things to be normal again - whatever normal is or was. I just want to be walking on clouds all day every day, because I had a beautiful person to come home to and to think about and to keep me on the clouds all day.
I am crying as I write this. When I got home from work, at 11:15 or so, I was feeling numb. I thought I was beginning to accept this - whatever it is - and I thought I wouldn't be so upset if Craig ended it. But I realize that I will. I will be upset for a very long time. It's not the first time I will have been dumped, so that part won't be hard, but it will definitely be the first time I've ever been dumped by a boy I loved. So I will be remembering everything about Craig and my relationship with him that I cherished. I will be remembering every, beautiful little thing about how wonderful my relationship with Craig was. And it will be hard. It will be excruciating. But I will get through it. I always do, I always will. It's not worth it to pine away after someone who doesn't want you anymore, and so I won't. IF that's what Craig chooses. I really hope it isn't, but it could be, and I am preparing myself to deal with it, because I really feel that it will be the route things take. I have a terrible gut feeling that he will end it and here I'll be, still terribly in love with him, and still terribly upset.
Well, goodnight for now. My eyeballs are starting to burn because there's no moisture left in them. I've cried it all out of my poor little eyes. Tomorrow will be a new day, will hold its own happiness and its own treasures.
Craig and I didn't even stay together til my birthday. I was hoping to do something special with him, to make my 23rd birthday extra special, but it looks like it was just that, a hope. I will have a much less happy birthday on Monday than usual...
Friday, July 22, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Confession
I have a confession to make...
I sleep with a stuffed animal. I will be 23 in a week and I still sleep with a stuffed animal. His name is Winston and he is a German Schnauzer puppy.
Winston was given to me by an ex, when he went home for Christmas, so I wouldn't miss him. Long story short, the guy was a douche and Winston is...well...Winston.
I can't think of any words to describe Winston, other than his name. Winston helps me fall asleep at night (in fact, I can't really fall asleep without Winston snuggled up in my arms...) and Winston is my comfort when I am crying. I can tell Winston anything - he is the best listener and he never tells my secrets. Winston fills the void of a sleeping boy next to me, and I take Winston everywhere with me. Winston probably has more miles on him than my mom's car. He's been to Spearfish with me, he's been to Sioux Falls, Aberdeen, Yankton, Tea, Brookings, Cheyenne, Casper, Arizona and Colorado with me (as well as a bunch of other places I can't remember at the moment). Winston is a good cuddler and he never minds if I accidentally throw him on the floor in my sleep. He doesn't complain if I hog all the bed and get twisted up in the blankets.
Winston is...well...Winston. And I am 23 and I still sleep with a stuffed animal. I'm not terribly ashamed to admit it, but I am a tad embarrassed that Winston goes on school trips with me in my suitcase.
I sleep with a stuffed animal. I will be 23 in a week and I still sleep with a stuffed animal. His name is Winston and he is a German Schnauzer puppy.
Winston was given to me by an ex, when he went home for Christmas, so I wouldn't miss him. Long story short, the guy was a douche and Winston is...well...Winston.
I can't think of any words to describe Winston, other than his name. Winston helps me fall asleep at night (in fact, I can't really fall asleep without Winston snuggled up in my arms...) and Winston is my comfort when I am crying. I can tell Winston anything - he is the best listener and he never tells my secrets. Winston fills the void of a sleeping boy next to me, and I take Winston everywhere with me. Winston probably has more miles on him than my mom's car. He's been to Spearfish with me, he's been to Sioux Falls, Aberdeen, Yankton, Tea, Brookings, Cheyenne, Casper, Arizona and Colorado with me (as well as a bunch of other places I can't remember at the moment). Winston is a good cuddler and he never minds if I accidentally throw him on the floor in my sleep. He doesn't complain if I hog all the bed and get twisted up in the blankets.
Winston is...well...Winston. And I am 23 and I still sleep with a stuffed animal. I'm not terribly ashamed to admit it, but I am a tad embarrassed that Winston goes on school trips with me in my suitcase.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Frustration
If you've been following my recent posts on facebook, you'll have noticed how frustrated I've been in the last few weeks. People just keep driving me NUTS and this crappy weather is not helping.
I don't mean to say that there haven't been wonderful times in the last few weeks, because there definitely have been. Every second I am able to spend with Craig is a wonderful blessing; my sister came for my recital and it was absolutely wonderful to spend time with her; my senior recital went off without a hitch and it was absolutely perfect in my eyes - so many people from my home church in Gillette came to hear me and my family was there. So there really have been a lot of blessings in my life.
But every day, there is something (or someone) who drives me flippin' nuts! If it's not school and school related work (homework, classwork, etc.) then it is someone I encounter during my day at school. Lately, it's been fellow music students. Craig's ex is one, for example. She is dating one of my exes and she has turned into a big bible thumper, like he is. Every day at lunch, she talks about something from the bible, or something she heard at church. Don't get me wrong, it's great to believe in the bible and God (and I do believe in that), but I don't want to hear about it every 30 seconds! And every post on her facebook is about her feminist ideals - which I do not agree with. I'm a woman and I rejoice in that fact, but I don't agree with feminism and pushing it on others.
Another person is a fellow music major - well, two fellow music majors - who are student teaching right now. They whine and complain whenever anything goes wrong and whenever I need to talk to my professors about something, they are in bemoaning their classrooms and what went wrong on that particular day. It makes it really tough to talk about assignments or get help on music when they're taking up my professors' time. And today, as we were tearing down after the orchestra concert and setting up for the jazz festival tomorrow, they stood and watched while 3 of us did all the work. They should have been helping, and they knew it, but instead they stood and watched. The orchestra director thanked me afterward for my help and said, "But why were you helping? It was supposed to be jazz band kids helping." I said, "I don't know, talk to them." One girl said, "I'm not in jazz band anymore, I don't have to help." The other girl, whose comment really pissed me off said, "Yeah. She was at the solo and ensemble festival all day yesterday, as was I, so we don't have to help." My question is, what does solo and ensemble festival have to do with jazz festival? The two are completely unrelated, and the fact that you were at solo and ensemble festival as part of your student teaching has absolutely jack squat to do with helping set up for jazz festival.
Ooooooh! Some people irritate me so bad! How do I learn to let things like these slide when they bother me so much! I have dedicated everything I have to that music department, and I hardly get recognized for the stuff I do, but those two get all the recognition and do so very little and they get handed all the kinds of stuff that will give them experience (leading warm-ups, directing rehearsals when the directors are gone, etc) but I never get any of those opportunities.
Oh well, such is life. I just need to vent about it sometimes when it gets too much to handle.
I don't mean to say that there haven't been wonderful times in the last few weeks, because there definitely have been. Every second I am able to spend with Craig is a wonderful blessing; my sister came for my recital and it was absolutely wonderful to spend time with her; my senior recital went off without a hitch and it was absolutely perfect in my eyes - so many people from my home church in Gillette came to hear me and my family was there. So there really have been a lot of blessings in my life.
But every day, there is something (or someone) who drives me flippin' nuts! If it's not school and school related work (homework, classwork, etc.) then it is someone I encounter during my day at school. Lately, it's been fellow music students. Craig's ex is one, for example. She is dating one of my exes and she has turned into a big bible thumper, like he is. Every day at lunch, she talks about something from the bible, or something she heard at church. Don't get me wrong, it's great to believe in the bible and God (and I do believe in that), but I don't want to hear about it every 30 seconds! And every post on her facebook is about her feminist ideals - which I do not agree with. I'm a woman and I rejoice in that fact, but I don't agree with feminism and pushing it on others.
Another person is a fellow music major - well, two fellow music majors - who are student teaching right now. They whine and complain whenever anything goes wrong and whenever I need to talk to my professors about something, they are in bemoaning their classrooms and what went wrong on that particular day. It makes it really tough to talk about assignments or get help on music when they're taking up my professors' time. And today, as we were tearing down after the orchestra concert and setting up for the jazz festival tomorrow, they stood and watched while 3 of us did all the work. They should have been helping, and they knew it, but instead they stood and watched. The orchestra director thanked me afterward for my help and said, "But why were you helping? It was supposed to be jazz band kids helping." I said, "I don't know, talk to them." One girl said, "I'm not in jazz band anymore, I don't have to help." The other girl, whose comment really pissed me off said, "Yeah. She was at the solo and ensemble festival all day yesterday, as was I, so we don't have to help." My question is, what does solo and ensemble festival have to do with jazz festival? The two are completely unrelated, and the fact that you were at solo and ensemble festival as part of your student teaching has absolutely jack squat to do with helping set up for jazz festival.
Ooooooh! Some people irritate me so bad! How do I learn to let things like these slide when they bother me so much! I have dedicated everything I have to that music department, and I hardly get recognized for the stuff I do, but those two get all the recognition and do so very little and they get handed all the kinds of stuff that will give them experience (leading warm-ups, directing rehearsals when the directors are gone, etc) but I never get any of those opportunities.
Oh well, such is life. I just need to vent about it sometimes when it gets too much to handle.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
New Post!
I realize it's been a long time since my last real post. Things got really crazy over Christmas break and haven't really slowed down much since. I also haven't had the urge to write since then, either.
So let me update you on what has happened since my last post:
I passed all my classes last semester and made the Dean's List for the second semester in a row with a semester GPA of 3.8 and 7 A's and 1 B. I was pretty proud of that accomplishment. I've successfully raised my overall GPA to a 3.116, which I am very proud of and very happy with, because I can now apply to grad schools and be accepted, if that is what I wish to do.
I started this semester strong and have so far maintained my good grades. I hope to make the Dean's List again for this semester.
I am gearing up for my Senior Recital in a few weeks at the end of the month, and I am starting to get really nervous - not for the singing; I've got that down - but for the program notes. I have so much work to do!
I just had surgery to fix my sinuses last Tuesday and am so far doing really well! I can breathe through my nose now, which is nice, because it was really swollen and stuffy for a few days after the surgery. And I can smell now! It's so nice, because I hadn't really been able to smell since May of 2010.
I met a wonderful guy, who is now my boyfriend, at the beginning of the semester. He is in my ed. class and he is terrific! He is so sweet and kind to me! And I spend as much free time with him as I can. His name is Craig and he is from Green River, Wyoming. He is a runner on the track team and the cross country team here at school and he is a Special Education Major. He is just a few months younger than me and he is tall and skinny.
He is so caring and wonderful to me. He took me shopping to Scheel's the other day, so I could get hiking boots and whatnot and then last night, he took me hiking (it was the VERY first time I had been hiking!) to Bridal Veil Falls in the canyon and showed me the ice cave that formed behind the frozen waterfall. It was beautiful and so much fun! He bought me flowers in a vase and flowers I could take home and plant for Valentine's Day (Irises and Lillies in the vase and Purple Tulips to plant!) and after I got out of surgery and made it back to Spearfish, he brought me a Purple Hyacinth that I can take home and plant when I get home in the summer!
Craig is sweet and thoughtful. He carries the heavy bags when we go shopping and one of the very first dates we had, he made me chicken noodle soup, because I had a cold, and we watched a movie at his house and talked 'til late at night. We have a lot in common and we really enjoy spending time together. And he told me the other day that my cooking was better than his mom's!
I haven't really talked to Jake since the semester started, and it's really nice. I don't have someone I'm relying on to be there who is constantly letting me down. I don't have to worry about feeling bad because of something he said or did. I realized that people like him have no place in my life. Well, I realized that a long time ago, but I finally decided to put it into practice. I have no use for people who are just going to let me down, belittle me and make me feel like less of a person.
In other news, I'm performing Friday morning (I guess that's tomorrow...) at 9:30 as a preview for the competition I will be competing in just the day before my recital.
Well, this has gotten to be a long post and Craig is back from practice and I want to spend some time with him before he leaves for Spring Break.
Toodles!
So let me update you on what has happened since my last post:
I passed all my classes last semester and made the Dean's List for the second semester in a row with a semester GPA of 3.8 and 7 A's and 1 B. I was pretty proud of that accomplishment. I've successfully raised my overall GPA to a 3.116, which I am very proud of and very happy with, because I can now apply to grad schools and be accepted, if that is what I wish to do.
I started this semester strong and have so far maintained my good grades. I hope to make the Dean's List again for this semester.
I am gearing up for my Senior Recital in a few weeks at the end of the month, and I am starting to get really nervous - not for the singing; I've got that down - but for the program notes. I have so much work to do!
I just had surgery to fix my sinuses last Tuesday and am so far doing really well! I can breathe through my nose now, which is nice, because it was really swollen and stuffy for a few days after the surgery. And I can smell now! It's so nice, because I hadn't really been able to smell since May of 2010.
I met a wonderful guy, who is now my boyfriend, at the beginning of the semester. He is in my ed. class and he is terrific! He is so sweet and kind to me! And I spend as much free time with him as I can. His name is Craig and he is from Green River, Wyoming. He is a runner on the track team and the cross country team here at school and he is a Special Education Major. He is just a few months younger than me and he is tall and skinny.
He is so caring and wonderful to me. He took me shopping to Scheel's the other day, so I could get hiking boots and whatnot and then last night, he took me hiking (it was the VERY first time I had been hiking!) to Bridal Veil Falls in the canyon and showed me the ice cave that formed behind the frozen waterfall. It was beautiful and so much fun! He bought me flowers in a vase and flowers I could take home and plant for Valentine's Day (Irises and Lillies in the vase and Purple Tulips to plant!) and after I got out of surgery and made it back to Spearfish, he brought me a Purple Hyacinth that I can take home and plant when I get home in the summer!
Craig is sweet and thoughtful. He carries the heavy bags when we go shopping and one of the very first dates we had, he made me chicken noodle soup, because I had a cold, and we watched a movie at his house and talked 'til late at night. We have a lot in common and we really enjoy spending time together. And he told me the other day that my cooking was better than his mom's!
I haven't really talked to Jake since the semester started, and it's really nice. I don't have someone I'm relying on to be there who is constantly letting me down. I don't have to worry about feeling bad because of something he said or did. I realized that people like him have no place in my life. Well, I realized that a long time ago, but I finally decided to put it into practice. I have no use for people who are just going to let me down, belittle me and make me feel like less of a person.
In other news, I'm performing Friday morning (I guess that's tomorrow...) at 9:30 as a preview for the competition I will be competing in just the day before my recital.
Well, this has gotten to be a long post and Craig is back from practice and I want to spend some time with him before he leaves for Spring Break.
Toodles!
Sunday, December 26, 2010
There's Never Anything, but Always Something, to Say...
I want to post a new blog. But I don't know where to start. There is sooooo much that has been on my mind lately, I just don't know where to begin. I'm not sure there is a beginning to start at. I'm not yet sure there is an end.
I've been thinking that if I think on it more, and mull it over, it'll come to me (what I want to write, that is...) but it hasn't. I've wanted to post a new blog for nearly a month, but the words won't take shape. They're there, always in the forefront of my mind, but they won't form themselves into anything cohesive or coherent. They won't let me focus on them, always sliding from view when I try to focus my attention on them.
Maybe if I stop trying to focus on them, they will cooperate and let themselves be posted. Who knows? My brain has been functioning strangely lately.
I've been thinking that if I think on it more, and mull it over, it'll come to me (what I want to write, that is...) but it hasn't. I've wanted to post a new blog for nearly a month, but the words won't take shape. They're there, always in the forefront of my mind, but they won't form themselves into anything cohesive or coherent. They won't let me focus on them, always sliding from view when I try to focus my attention on them.
Maybe if I stop trying to focus on them, they will cooperate and let themselves be posted. Who knows? My brain has been functioning strangely lately.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Am I Asking too Much?
Am I asking too much? Am I being too critical and judgmental? Am I being too soft?
Let me back up a bit. I had invited a friend of mine to my Madrigal Dinners quite some time ago. He said he would be there, and only a few days later told me he wouldn't come unless he could find someone to go with him. I was really bummed, but I held out hope that he would find someone to go with him. I let him know, a few days ago, that tickets were nearly sold out, so he needed to call and order them if he wanted to go. He told me then that he hadn't been able to get the time off work. So yesterday, I asked him if he worked tonight and invited him to our last dress rehearsal and he said he'd try to come up. Little surprise to me when he didn't show up. His excuse was that something just came up.
With Jake, something always conveniently comes up when I've invited him to an event of mine.
And frankly, I'm tired of it. I'm so tired of getting hurt and let down. It has happened a lot to me over the past with all sorts of different people; people that are like family to me, people I love and care about, people that matter to me.
When he says he'll be there and doesn't show up, it fairly breaks my heart. But I should expect it and I should stop inviting him.
I told him that I hate being let down like that. I told him, that if he didn't want to come he should just say he didn't want to come.
This is the text I sent him:
"I'm sorry I bring it up all the time. But it's really important. I need to feel that people I care about support me and what I do, because for a really long time, the didn't. It's silly to say, but it's the easiest way to hurt me. There have been too many people I love let me down, and I'm so tired of it. I just can't deal with that anymore. I'd prefer that, if a person doesn't know for sure they can make it to something, they just say they're not coming. That way, I don't get my hopes up and get all excited, just to have them dashed and my heart broken. Because it does break my heart a little each time. I care so much about the people I invited and what I do that it just breaks my heart to be let down. So please, in the future, if you're unsure about your ability to make it to an event I've invited you to, just say you're not coming and if you come I'll be surprised rather than heartbroken you didn't come. It shows me you don't care about what I do, and ultimately about me, when you let me down like that. I'm not being mean, I'm being frank and truthful."
I understand Jake is busy and overwhelmed - we all are. But music is a way to relax and help you unwind. It's the thing I love most in the world and I like to share that with the people I care about.
My questions are these:
Am I asking too much? Am I asking too much by asking that he come to my music events? Am I asking too much by asking him to say he's not coming if he doesn't plan on it?
Am I being too critical and judgmental? Am I being too critical by thinking that, because he doesn't show up, he doesn't care? Am I being too judgmental by thinking those things?
Am I being too soft? Am I being too much of a baby by getting hurt by this every time Jake breaks his word? Should I just buck up and ignore it and not let myself get hurt by it?
Thoughts are always welcome.
Let me back up a bit. I had invited a friend of mine to my Madrigal Dinners quite some time ago. He said he would be there, and only a few days later told me he wouldn't come unless he could find someone to go with him. I was really bummed, but I held out hope that he would find someone to go with him. I let him know, a few days ago, that tickets were nearly sold out, so he needed to call and order them if he wanted to go. He told me then that he hadn't been able to get the time off work. So yesterday, I asked him if he worked tonight and invited him to our last dress rehearsal and he said he'd try to come up. Little surprise to me when he didn't show up. His excuse was that something just came up.
With Jake, something always conveniently comes up when I've invited him to an event of mine.
And frankly, I'm tired of it. I'm so tired of getting hurt and let down. It has happened a lot to me over the past with all sorts of different people; people that are like family to me, people I love and care about, people that matter to me.
When he says he'll be there and doesn't show up, it fairly breaks my heart. But I should expect it and I should stop inviting him.
I told him that I hate being let down like that. I told him, that if he didn't want to come he should just say he didn't want to come.
This is the text I sent him:
"I'm sorry I bring it up all the time. But it's really important. I need to feel that people I care about support me and what I do, because for a really long time, the didn't. It's silly to say, but it's the easiest way to hurt me. There have been too many people I love let me down, and I'm so tired of it. I just can't deal with that anymore. I'd prefer that, if a person doesn't know for sure they can make it to something, they just say they're not coming. That way, I don't get my hopes up and get all excited, just to have them dashed and my heart broken. Because it does break my heart a little each time. I care so much about the people I invited and what I do that it just breaks my heart to be let down. So please, in the future, if you're unsure about your ability to make it to an event I've invited you to, just say you're not coming and if you come I'll be surprised rather than heartbroken you didn't come. It shows me you don't care about what I do, and ultimately about me, when you let me down like that. I'm not being mean, I'm being frank and truthful."
I understand Jake is busy and overwhelmed - we all are. But music is a way to relax and help you unwind. It's the thing I love most in the world and I like to share that with the people I care about.
My questions are these:
Am I asking too much? Am I asking too much by asking that he come to my music events? Am I asking too much by asking him to say he's not coming if he doesn't plan on it?
Am I being too critical and judgmental? Am I being too critical by thinking that, because he doesn't show up, he doesn't care? Am I being too judgmental by thinking those things?
Am I being too soft? Am I being too much of a baby by getting hurt by this every time Jake breaks his word? Should I just buck up and ignore it and not let myself get hurt by it?
Thoughts are always welcome.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Bones
Recently, I've been watching a lot of Bones on my Netflix. I've been coming to many conclusions about Dr. Temperance Brennan and myself.
I find many similarities between Dr. Brennan and myself, except for the obvious parts where she has a doctorate and she's a scientist......
She takes many things literally. I take many things literally.
She has a hard time accepting that she is loved and cared for by the people that matter to her. I sometimes have a hard time accepting that I am loved and cared for by the people that matter to me.
She puts science, her love and career, before most other things. I put music, my love and career, before most things.
She is in love with someone who means the world to her, but he doesn't acknowledge it. I am in love with someone who is very special to me, but he doesn't acknowledge it.
She wants to be loved. I want to be loved.
She wants to believe that love can transcend everything. I want to believe that love can transcend everything.
She has a difficult time relating to people outside of her close circle of friends. I have a hard time relating to people outside of my close circle of friends.
She is socially awkward. I am socially awkward.
That's it for now, I think. I am getting too distracted with watching Bones.
I find many similarities between Dr. Brennan and myself, except for the obvious parts where she has a doctorate and she's a scientist......
She takes many things literally. I take many things literally.
She has a hard time accepting that she is loved and cared for by the people that matter to her. I sometimes have a hard time accepting that I am loved and cared for by the people that matter to me.
She puts science, her love and career, before most other things. I put music, my love and career, before most things.
She is in love with someone who means the world to her, but he doesn't acknowledge it. I am in love with someone who is very special to me, but he doesn't acknowledge it.
She wants to be loved. I want to be loved.
She wants to believe that love can transcend everything. I want to believe that love can transcend everything.
She has a difficult time relating to people outside of her close circle of friends. I have a hard time relating to people outside of my close circle of friends.
She is socially awkward. I am socially awkward.
That's it for now, I think. I am getting too distracted with watching Bones.
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